The Rumor Mill: New 5th WDW Park "Night Kingdom"

(Originally published Feb. 14th, 2008)

Okay...read this morning a 'blog' from a Disney rumor-monger who has a reputation amongst other Disneyphiles as being wrong as often as he is right.Rumor-has-it: Disney is going to build an adjunct park to Animal Kingdom "Night Kingdom" (rumored name) that is only going to be open at night, and will offer:

1. 
   up close and personal 'adventures' with the animals,
2. a fancy dinner,
3. limited capacity (rumor states 2000 max. guests, with 4000 staff...you got it...a 2:1 ratio),
4. no thrill rides/standard rides,
5. open from roughly 5pm until midnight, and
6. a HEFTY price tag ($250-300 PER PERSON).

As much as I adore (most) things Disney, and would love to see another park built, if this rumor is true, then it reeks of money-grubbing to me! Walt originally envisaged Disney as someplace that families could bring their kids to have fun and enjoy being a family. The hefty price tag for this 'Night Kingdom' means that a family of four would cost $1000 or MORE for a few hours of fun. Heck! $1000 is enough for some families to go, get tickets AND stay on site in one of the Disney resorts!! Walt must be spinning in his grave (or where-ever it is that he was placed, as rumors on THAT score are many and varied!).

Some people discussing it on the various Disney discussion boards I haunt point out that it would be an attempt by Disney to compete with Discovery Cove (or whatever it is) at SeaWorld which is around $269 for lots of up close and personal experiences with the marine life there. Yes, I can see that...but it is still exclusionary at best and quite frankly, doesn't sound to me like it would be worth the cost for a few hours with animals. Hell, if I want that I'll go to Busch Gardens (I know...that sounds soooooo sacreligious for a DisneyPhile to say).

That said, yes, I concede that there will be families out there who would gladly pay $250 or more for their 5 year old to don night-vision goggles and watch a few lions munching half a zebra (or whatever Disney feeds the non-biped carnivores in their parks...I know the bipeds dine on such lovely fare as chicken tenders and burgers). Mind you, I can see it now...5 year old cries because he isn't having fun since there are no rides, and papa (or mama...I'm not sexist) spanks said child saying... "I didn't pay $250 for you to look at animals only to sit here and cry! Now smile and have fun dammit!! This is the happiest place on earth!!!"

Now before you laugh or flame me...I have heard parents say just that sort of thing to kids while in the Magic Kingdom surrounded by rides and shows and characters galore. The only difference in that scenario was that the child was crying because they were hot, tired and wanted to go to the resort and swim (well it WAS July, stinking hot and crowded as hell in the parks....I wanted to go back to the hotel and swim too!!).

Of course, there has been a rumored 5th park in the works for a few years now, with many hoping and praying for a thrill ride oriented park to compete with Islands of Adventure. Personally, despite the fact that my persistant high blood pressure will one day ruin my ability to ride thrill rides, I would still rather see that park come to fruition than this 'Night Kingdom' atrocity.

Yes...*wistful sigh and far-away look* a theme park based on the 'Pleasure Island' from 'Pinocchio'...full of rides and games (just maybe not the booze and cigars). Imagine a roller coaster on which you soar through the sky as if on Pegasus's back (from 'Hercules' for those of you not as up on Disney movies as I am). Or how about a mine car ride based on the wild and wacky mine car chase in "Home on the Range"? Or a 3-D, simulation ride based on "The Incredibles"?Oh...I could list several dozen roller coaster ideas that would be better themed that watching a lion eat (I can spend 1/8th the amount proposed for 'Night Kingdom' and just go to a ZOO for THAT!).

Hmmm...all these ideas and no place to give them to the people that matter. There are days when I long to finish my PhD, then turn around and get a degree in engineering so I can go get a job as an Imagineer. But somehow, that would be a bad idea...math and I...we don't get along so well...and you really don't need ME designing a rollercoaster that involves MATH!But that is a musing for another day!